When I was an assistant priest in St Leonards on Sea, there was another priest, who used to welcome penitents at the confessional shake their hands warmly enquire about their health, ask their names, all designed to put them at their ease.It is worth reading the rest of the post. His comments on confession are spot-on.
One day a woman came into the the Church wearing a motorcycle helmet with the visor down. The priest stood at the confessional door, greeted her warmly, shook her hand and invited to remove the helmet, she refused saying she wanted to have her right to anonymity preserved.
From then on the priest stayed inside the confessional behind the grill.
Saturday, 21 October 2006
I'll remain anonymous, thank you
I thought this was a brilliant story. Thanks to Fr Ray Blake of St Mary Magdalen's, Brighton.
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Now I am tempted to go to confession with one of those Dark Vader helmets with breathing sound effect to obscure my voice. Now that would be anonymous.
After reading his entire post, one thing I will say, from experience, is that sometimes counseling is the very thing needed in order to stop coming back again and again for the same thing.
I had confessed the same sin over and again for 20 years before falling into a type of despair about not being able to conquer it. I would go several times yearly. I was always in and out of the confessional quite quickly, exactly as some priests and other penitents like.
Then, when I got to Assumption Grotto in Detroit last year, found the priests to be very patient listeners, in no big hurry, and encouraging for us to confess even venial sins and imperfections, often providing guidance for even the simplest of things, especially where one is struggling with the same thing over and again. They provided ideas and things to try.
I've been at this parish for 1 year and 5 months. Through God's grace, and the help of my confessor there, that pet sin is long gone. He taught me through frequent confession (2-3 times monthly) how working at conquering the small things can build strength for conquering the big things.
What good is it to be made whole again with a swift confession, if you will be fractured a few days later because you haven't figured out "how" to move forward. It leads to the kind of despair I fell into.
Lines for confession at my parish can always be a wait. Priests make themselves available before Mass at least for 30 minutes. When they have the Mass they put a note on their door that confessions will end 10 minutes prior to Mass so they can vest. When they have the Mass they will often come earliest to confession to get 30 minutes in. At my parish it is not uncommon for people to be in Church 30-45 minutes before Mass.
Even in Divine Mercy week, the priests take their time with each penitent - the same as they do during any other confession time. No one complains because each knows they will get the same attention. The priests there do not limit themselves to the clock. I have seen them walk out of the confessional when they had to vest, and tell the people they will be back in his confessional immediately following the Mass, which they did. The line begins to build as the recessional was underway. I've always seen this as an example of sacrifice on their part because they could be relaxing in the rectory between Masses.
Priests there also go into their confessional at unposted times, or before morning and evening daily Masses. This had a profound effect on me, especially considering that my parish is unairconditioned and the inside temp can be hotter than it is outside. On a 95F (35C) day, this can mean over 100F (37.8C). The priests lead by example with regards to their teachings on mortification and how it builds spiritual strength.
If I have learned one thing, people respond to a priest in a confessional, especially if he is consistent. One priest working through my parish would go into his box before the 7:30 and 8:30am Masses on weekdays (unposted). There was always someone. These were the times we could especially work through sinful matters with counseling because there was no big line.
People wonder - how can you go to confession so frequently if you have no serious sin to confess? If my prayer life is being affected by too much computer time, then I need to confess that. My confessor set limits and encouraged balance of time. I can make daily Mass before work (6:00am liturgy) when I don't spend too much time on the computer in the morning. If I don't tame my will, I don't make Mass. I also missed the daily Mass I wanted to attend because I kept hitting the "snooze" on my alarm. He challenged me to get a windup clock and get up the first time it rings, and "offer it up". Indeed he was right: Tame the will in minor things results in strength to conquer the big things.
God Bless all priests who know the treasure that confession is in bringing us closer to God!
I enjoyed the article and I love the story of the motorcycle helmet. I don't understand why people enjoy face to face Confession, but, hey, that's just me. The only thing I would comment on is that I appreciate direction and suggestion in Confession.
I don't just want a priest to mumble the words of absolution - I'd like a little guidance.
I've heard some genius from my priests in the Confessional. I've been comforted by their words, encouraged by their suggestions, etc.
Of course, the important and critical thing is that I'm forgiven, but it's nice to ponder that Jesus speaks tender words to me through the priest, and isn't all 'business.'
Just my two cents.
But I'm probably wrong.
;)
No, you are not wrong. You do have the right to expect that the priest will try to say something of use. I think it is a shame when a priest simply gives the penance and absolution without any other words.
We're not always sure what to say - but we have to trust the Holy Spirit to work through us.
And of course, sometimes, the priest is obliged to say something if an error needs correcting or if it is necessary to ascertain that there is a firm purpose of amendment.
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