As a matter of urgency, the Church needs to arrange that every parish move swiftly towards the implementation phase of a national Cappaphobia Recognition and Understanding Directive. There should be no difficulty with forming a co-ordinated steering group of qualified experts to produce this CRUD. A budget of £250,000 or so would be adequate to begin with; this could be generated by a second collection on a designated "Noble Simplicity Sunday." In accordance with best practice, approximately 45% of the sum would be earmarked to produce coloured Gift-Aid envelopes, a glossy brochure, model bidding prayers and sermon, reflections on the readings, and materials for the Children's Liturgy.
In the meantime, as my contribution to cappaphobia sensitivity training, I have produced this warning sign that can be reproduced for seminars and should be posted on the door of any Church where a Pontifical High Mass is to be celebrated.
10 comments:
I guess you're a cappaphile, then, Father?
Many thanks to Fr. Tim for the link. What a hoot !
So far, the only criticism I have heard was to the effect that the cappa magna worn by Cardinal Castrillon Hoyos on his visit to Westminster Cathedral was too short ! (I understand that on this occasion he used the Westminster cappa magna, which had been shortened in 1962, but Father will correct me if I am wrong.) I've seen photos of the full length cappa magna being worn. It's certainly not the sort of thing you can simply pop into a suitcase.
I don't know if the following affects cappaphobes, but I see commenters on other blogs have been getting excited about the reappearance of the papal simar, complete with half sleeves. However, I think Pope Benedict has been wearing this for some time.
There was The Incident of The Folded Chasubles in Rome earlier this year. I'm not sure whether that was praeter legem or immemorial custom.
The manteletta has definitely made a comeback.
I have heard of isolated outbreaks of buckled shoes, but that is only a rumour ..
I hear rumours that you're on the Terna for Wesminster, Father! Certainly Paddy Power has you listed. Now THAT would REALLY strike a blow against cappaphobia!
Strange request, Father - next week I have been asked to bless a well - St. Sharbel's Well, on the Feast of St. Sharbel, July 24th (which is also my birthday!) Is there a blessing for a well - I don't see anything in the Old Ritual - any help greatly appreciated!
'do put your coffee down while you read it'. That's a very good tip indeed Fr Tim, as I found this article one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.
Someone should post a cartoon of your typical/stereotype 'Cappaphobe'
Peter - buckled shoes are a firmly embedded contrary custom at Blackfen (for major feast days.)
Owl of the Remove - look for the "Benedictio Fontis" (not the Baptismal font but an ordinary fount or well.)
David - I've slipped back a bit on Paddy Power. My own information is that the process is nowhere near the Terna yet. But hey! the rumour about the Terna was given by a "top source" to the Daily Telegraph so you can feel free to spread this :-) (It's not going to happen.)
One way of implementing the CRUD directive would be to devise a 12 step program for cappaphobics along the lines of those pioneered by AA. Cappaphobia is, after all, an addiction (like alcoholism) to which the liberal mind is intrinsically susceptible …
1.We admitted we were powerless over cappaphobia - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the Hermeneutic of Continuity as we understood It.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to the Hermeneutic of Continuity, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have the Hermeneutic of Continuity remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked the Hermeneutic of Continuity to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with the Hermeneutic of Continuity as we understood It, praying only for knowledge of Its will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to cappaphobics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
hehe. Many thanks.
Owl, in Ireland the tradition of blessed wells, usually associated with an early saint, is a very strong and ancient one. These wells, often in rather remote country places are believed to have healing powers. I don't know if the saint is said to have caused the spring to flow or just blessed an existing well. Often you find a hawthorn tree growing nearby, sometimes overhanging the well, and pilgrims and those seeking the saints aid, having prayed and drunk or bathed in the water, will tie a ribbon or small piece of cloth on the tree. Often Mass will be celebrated at the well on the saints feast day. There was one near where I grew up which was visited by people with eye problems and another in which was said to live a small eel, if you prayed there and stirred the water,and saw the eel, this meant the saint had heard your prayer. (These are essentially very old country beliefs but still seemed quite strong about ten years ago when I last lived there, unlike some other old country pratices, which were rapidly dying out.)
yOu think you won't get WEstminster, Father?
To that I can only respond that if Father Z has anything to do with it.....
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