On my trips around the motorway yesterday and today, I have listened to the news rather more than usual given that Gordon Brown has now I went to the ATM this morning and it said "insufficient funds".
I'm wondering is it them or me.
With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
Start off with a large one.
What's the difference between an investment banker and a London pigeon?
The pigeon can still make a deposit on a new Porsche.
What's the capital of Iceland?
About £3.50
Masked man walks into a bank with a gun:
"I don't want any money - I just want you to start lending to each other..."
Talk in the City is that if you want a job, it's Dubai, Mumbai, Shanghai or goodbye.
And here is today's cartoon from the Daddy of them all, Matt of the Daily Telegraph:
6 comments:
I was listening to Radio 2 this morning; they announced the capital of Iceland to be @ £4.50 - your source is obviously a little more up-to-date!
What do you say to a Hedge Fund manager who can't hedge? "Quarter pounder with fries, please"
'Matt' is an absolute treasure.
so much of our money on bailing out the big banks.
Don't you mean "buying out the big banks".
I'm not sure at what point a country that is merely 'left-leaning' becomes actually a socialist state, but I'm thinking that with the government owning controlling shares in all the largest financial institutions, we've just taken one very large step in the direction of the latter.
I just came back from the village butcher shop with a gammon for my tea, and was asked the skill testing question, 'what's the capital of Iceland'.
It's certainly going around.
The Isle of Dogs Building Society has collapsed. They've called in the retrievers.
I spoke to my bank manager the other day and he said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on.
He sold me one outside Boots yesterday!
Q: What is the one thing Wall St and the Olympics have in common? A: Synchronised diving
Q: What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't short-sell anything? A: Quarter pounder with fries please
Q: How many commodities traders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they don't change bulbs; but the trading price of darkness plummets due to oversupply
Entries from a new financial dictionary:
Broker: What my stock adviser has made me
Standard & poor: Your life in a nutshell
Cash flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
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