Many years ago, Sir James Goldsmith's "Now" magazine was the butt of jokes in Private Eye on account of the planting of piles of unsolicited copies in dentists' waiting rooms in a desperate bid to increase sales.
Several parish priests have recently told me that they have received piles of unsolicited copies of the Tablet. It would be interesting to know how widespread this is. To my knowledge, Blackfen parish has not received any, but I expect my sacristan would swiftly hide them from me if they were to be delivered. She is touchingly concerned for Father's health and would not want him to suffer high blood pressure unnecessarily.
The altar servers who enjoyed the fire extinguisher training session are desperate for a re-run with a real blaze. They did suggest that the Tablet would be suitable kindling matter but could not find any copies in the Church.
I encourage parish priests to let me know if they have had problems with the Tablet mountain - and readers generally to offer suggestions along the lines of "101 Uses for an Unsolicited Pile of Tablets". (Do remember that this is a pro-family blog and that rude words are not allowed.)