Ten things that will not happen in 2011

I haven't done one of these for a couple of years but since I was giggling when I came up the one I put last, I thought you might enjoy them. Here are ten things that I think will not happen in the forthcoming year:

Fr Zuhlsdorf finally agrees that "O God you are very big and Jesus is really nice. Amen" is a good translation of the Collect for the fourth Sunday of Lent.

The Translapine Redemptorists run an enneagram course at Papa Stronsay with breakout groups for psychic aromatherapy.

Chris Gillibrand buys himself a clown nose, funny hat and vuvuzela to accompany his yodelling slot in the annual Bier und Volksmesse somewhere in Austria.

James Preece is appointed Public Relations Director for the Diocese of Middlesbrough.

Fr Hunwicke makes a mistake in his Latin.

The Dominicans at Godzdogz decide that after all, the Blessed John Duns Scotus was right not only on the motive of the incarnation but also on the concept of haeccaeitas.

The Chant Café runs a series of articles on the advantages of Rhythm & Blues as an alternative to the settings of the Introit in the Roman Gradual.

Raffaella publishes slightly fewer than a thousand posts a day

Andrea Tornielli hears about a Vatican appointment in the Bollettino without having known about it at least six months beforehand.

Damian Thompson gets a pre-shined polyester suit and Bart Simpson tie from Next to wear as office gear for his new post as Executive Director of Eccleston Square.

Not going to happen. Happy New Year!

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