Incognito Mystery Church Reviewer and his Research Assistant
We have been honoured by a visit from the mystery Church reviewer: The boat of fools visits Blogfen. He picked up on all the important things including the mantillas and the child bloggers, though he must have gone for coffee before the under-3s chorus of Ave Regina Caelorum. It's true that we don't allow books in Church. All that page-rustling during the Canon disturbs the more considerate worshippers who silently tap iPads or use e-book readers.
There is just one correction to make: the worshipper feeding paper tape into an IBM mainframe was actually not a regular but another mystery worshipper from a leading liberal weekly who was also trying to be incognito but hasn't yet worked out that it is not 1968 any more.
What Mystery Reviewer doesn't know is that there is an army of disguised papal tech ninjas in the congregation who are using the latest tiny and easily concealed DNA-based nano-machines. They have now got his IP address, passwords and the entire contents of his hard drive in a blob of nucleotides that is stored in a single cell of one of the biscuits in the hall kitchen. The ninjas have a childish sense of fun, so you can expect some odd spelung mustaks in the nier footur.