A Higgs Boson particle walks into a Catholic Church. So the priest comes up to him and says "Oi you! Higgs Boson! You can't come in 'ere."Incidentally, as I understand the explanation given to me, the people at CERN haven't discovered the Higgs Boson particle, they have found various places where it doesn't exist, thus narrowing down the possibilities for places where it does, and making it more likely that they will find it in the end. But I am sure that is an over-simplification.
So the Higgs Boson particle says, "Without me you can't have any mass."