My wife is suffering from dementia and is unable to go to confession. I worry about whether she is losing out on God’s grace.
Please be assured that your wife is not losing out on God’s grace. The sacraments are channels of grace within the Church but God is not limited to the sacraments. Those who, through no fault of their own, cannot receive the sacraments, will receive God’s grace in ways that are known only to Him.
As a practising Catholic, your wife will have a habitual desire to receive the sacraments. This is important when the time comes that it is appropriate for her to receive the sacrament of anointing. It is often forgotten that one of the effects of this sacrament is to forgive all sins – in the case of someone unable to make a sacramental confession, this would include even mortal sins. The sacrament also has the effect of removing what are called the “remnants of sin”, those effects that are left behind in our soul through the various imperfections of our fallen state.
With regard to Holy Communion, your own close personal knowledge of your wife in her dementia is important. You will know whether she is able to recognise (perhaps in a way not discernible to others) that there is something special about the Eucharist – that there is a difference between the Eucharist and ordinary bread.
If there is a danger of unintentional mistreatment of the Eucharist, think of your wife’s devotion before her illness. We can think what our response might be if we were asked whether we would want to receive Holy Communion if, for example, we might spit out the sacred host. We would all agree that in such a case we would not want to receive Holy Communion. Again, your wife will not “lose out” on God’s grace. Your own prayers said with her, in the form of a spiritual communion, will be effective. Remember too that in your loving care for your wife in sickness and in health, you also draw down the grace of God given “till death do us part” in the sacrament of matrimony.
Catholic Dilemmas column published in the Catholic Herald
Suggestions for Catholic Dilemmas are always welcome in the combox.
5 comments:
A beautiful response. How blessed are the Catholics of Blackfen. Well said, Father.
I think your statements here are very sensitive and somewhat moving. Regards. Stuart
Thank you, Father, you have answered a concern I have had since taking my alzheimer-suffering mother to Mass yesterday and noticing that she seemed quite unaware of what was happening when she was given Holy Communion. I watched anxiously to make sure she swallowed the host, wondering what I would do if she didn't. She certainly recognised the priest -a frequent visitor - but not what It was that he was offering her. I just happened on this post, wasn't looking for information on the topic - didn't quite know how to google such information. God is soooo good!
Dear Father,
as one who cares for an old person - Blessings upon you. This is the most wonderful, true, and compassionate response.
You are a true pastor of souls.
Father, my aunt died a year ago on the 17th, she had not practised the faith for many years. She had a husband who was anti-catholic,married in a civil marriage and did not bring her children up as catholics. When she was dying it was the husband who asked for a priest to anoint her. After her her death I went to see my family and they showed me my aunts bedroom and next to her bed was a statue of Our Lady. They did not understand what it was. I can only presume she had kept the faith quietly due to her husband. She had the last sacraments and strangely enough the husband said he was comforted. then he demanded my aunt have a catholic funeral. Afterwards his response was they don not normally take so much time over people. There should be more preaching over the sacrament of anonting. thanks
Post a Comment