I was looking up Fr Daren Zehlne's blog (more about that in a mo') and found an article about Meeting Online at the Ride of the Rohirrim blog. With a name like that you have to go and look.
Daniel met his girlfriend Catherine through CatholicMatch.com and they are planning to get married once they have finished what Americans call "school". To be honest, when I followed the link, I expected to find a post saying how dreadful Catholic online dating services were. Instead, Daniel makes a thought-provoking case for their value in proper and prudent discernment.
I just looked up CatholicMatch and found that it is endorsed by Fr Frank Pavone and Michael Rose among others. It seems to be regarded as a real step forward in helping young people to found families that will rebuild the culture of life.
8 comments:
Thank you for the post, Fr. Finigan! Yes, we call it school sometimes...I probably should have specified "college", since school I suppose does imply primary or secondary school in some contexts.
Anyway, I'm glad that I gave a more positive outlook on meeting online than you had expected. I'm always glad to improve the image of something which I really think does not deserve as negative an image as it has.
I just heard Fr. Frank Pavone speak at a Pro-Life fundraising dinner last night. Good speaker.
i think it's always worth bearing in mind that good Catholics going out with non-Catholics isn't necessarily a bad thing, as often they're very sympathetic & convert. In my family about a dozen non-Catholics converted before marriage to my family members!
what is a meme? I have never heard of this word.
Years ago I joined a catholic "dating agency" - I met several people, none of whom I met more than a few times and one of whom was not as unknown to me as I thought was the case until I met her (beware - Catholic Community in UK is a small world). Various other interesting tales could be told
However, I would recommend this way of meeting other Catholics, why?
Well firstly, most of the people I met, if not all, were looking towards eventual marriage rather than looking for instant gratification, they were all sincere people none of whom came across as Cafeteria Catholics.
I had at the time gone right off dating Catholics because I found that going out with "Cafeteria Catholics" (who comprised the majority of baptised unmarried female catholics I came across in London) far more problematic than going out with non-catholics. I also work in a very male dominated industry and so did not mix greatly with the fair sex from day to day.
The main effect of this was on the subconcious. Prior to doing this, I would meet "suitable" catholic girls only fairly occasionally at a Faith event or retreat. Once I joined the Catholic "dating agency" I met them as often as I could be bothered to write letters to them.
The effect of this was that subconciously I was more relaxed when meeting people at Church groups or retreats - and it was subsequently at one such group that I met my wife.
I would add that the "dating agency" concerned was genuninely Catholic and only advertised in notices in church porches.
The main criticism of those I met through the "agency" is one that could be levelled against most of modern society - you cannot know in one or two hours whether you are compatible with someone or not, and a fair percentage of those I met appeared to make decisions for the most superficial of reasons, the decision being to decline to meet me again.
How do I know the decision was superficial? well after meeting me for an hour in a public place, how could they know anywhere enough about me to make such a decision on anything but superficial grounds? [I don't feel I am the sort of person who **anyone** would make such a decision wabout within 60 minutes, people don't normally change seats when I sit next to them on a train]
I don't know how well people who make such superficial decisions will get on, if they marry, when their marriage, as is inevitable, hits a rough patch and needs a lot of working at because it seems to me that some people set themselves impossibly high standards, seemingly expecting to be bowled over as in some Disney Film.
In most cases the real world isn't like that and that attitude is a passport to a lonely old age.
You will never meet Mr or Miss perfect as Original Sin has seen to it that we are all in some way flawed (although to be fair I was lucky enough to to end up with someone not far short of that ideal, he says as the wife walks into the room......;-)
Daniel - thanks for coming over here. Great post and all the best for you and Catherine. I was praying for you yesterday and will do so again. Dot' worry about the word "School" - we English make silly jokes about such things. Your post was very inspiring - see Paul's below as well.
Dilexitprior - you heard Fr Pavone! What a privilege! I'd love to meet him one day.
Jackie - true enough, but what about Catholics going out with people who think that religion started all the wars or that God is a tyrant or ... It is an important issue.
Anon - google is the best place to get a full explanation.
Paul - thanks for that brilliant and illuminating comment.
I went to a catholicmatch event in Florida and had a great time! Be wary if you meet anyone alone i.e. security and so on.
I was in a large group in FL however and I was amazed at how devout the people were!
My sister met her atheist husband online, and after five years of marriage, he started the journey to Catholicism. They have now been married seven years, and he says that he became Catholic by his wife's example, but also because of Pope Benedict XVI being from his home country of Germany. They are TLM Catholics, too.
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