What we're really doing...
Actually, all this reasonable stuff about computers and the internet isn't going to fool anyone, folks, so we might as well tell it like it is.
Above is the arctic cyberpod from which Fr Z and myself, the NLM, the Curt Jester and a few other secret bloggers send out death rays to modernist computers round the world, post inaccurate texts, compose viruses that will make computers used to compose clown liturgies give off incense through the air vents, and generally by such means bring the free world to its knees.
Our latest planned jape was to devise a fiendishly inaccurate version of the ICEL texts and pepper the internet with this inaccurate, unfinished, unapproved and unduly altered text that was so totally lacking in integrity that it would cause general mayhem and confusion.
Sadly when we heard of the need to write to the USCCB Secretariat of Divine Worship, 3211 Fourth Street, NE, Washington, DC 20017, our plans just collapsed into dust and ashes - we were completely foiled. None of us has written out a postal address for several months and we are out of those square pocket thingies with the gummed flap you have to lick and fold down, and those little coloured squares you have to stick on. So we had a nice cup of tea instead.
16 comments:
Evil Overlords of the World unite!
err...well, not really "unite" per se, but put aside your mortal enmity for a minute or two...
...maybe not.
Can I join your little clique Father? I have some great ideas involving plastic explosives, earthenware chalices and guitars. Messy but effective...
Oh, if only this were true (of course, if it were, the structure would look a little more "Rococo", me thinks!).
Hope you are enjoying the conference.
Well, that would account for a lot...especially those crop circles.
Karen
Yes, that's my window, fourth on the right!
LOL!!!
Count me in, Father.
BTW, when I first saw the picture, I seriously thought that the infamous architect Dick Vosko had just built a new church called Our Lady of the Aliens.
BMP
I knew it! Say, what's the rent in one of those? I have a few ideas for a virus that replaces the blue prints of 'modern' churches with historic blue prints for some of the finer Churches in Christendom.
Think of the chaos that would ensue as they lay a cross-shaped foundation and the aging hippy in charge of the 'modern' blue print shows up screaming "No! No! Its supposed to be a circle!"
It would be the end of post-Western civilization as we know it!
Augustine - you're in. Mind you, you won't need plastic explosive for the pottery chalices. I have always found that they are very fragile. Two taps with a club hammer and they fall apart.
Count me in as well, I just invested in a huge furnace for the glass "chalices" to produce a giant stained glass window :)
This photo would, I think, do nicely to illustrate Fr Z's recent post on "inflatable churches" for use on the beach.
No, I'm not joking. Fr. Z has posted a most interesting story on the subject.
I don't know, Father, it's bad enough that you told all the world, but did you have to include a picture? Now they will try to track down the location of our secret (until now, at least) HQ and brainwash us with relativism waves and hermeneutic-of-rupture flashes. Well, I guess we'll have to double our efforts at causing general mayhem and confusion, then - after tea, that is.
Thanks Father. I'll do my best. I genuinley think I'd rather see liturgical bagpipes in our parish than another guitar...
"I have always found that they are very fragile. Two taps with a club hammer and they fall apart."
Is the destruction of sacred vessels becoming a hobby now father?
It was a joke. Sorry.
Can I join? Or are you excluding traddy womynpriests from everything?
;-)
Statingthetruth.... "sacred vessels" are supposed to be made out of precious metal!!! Not bits of pottery! I don't see how it's possible to desecrate one!
I suppose the priest "could" use a dixie cup for a chalice and a kleenex for a purificator if he was in a hell hole of a Chinese prison or some other gulag, God would understand ... but a chalice with precious metal should be used unless there are some extraordinary circumstances. I sometimes wonder if God attends Mass under duress!
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