From Mark Shea's
Catholic and Enjoying It! comes one in a series of "philosophical ditties". This is by "Mark" and is St Anselm's ontological argument for the existence of God to be sung to the tune of Waltzing Matilda. Great for parties! (Well the ones I go to anyway.)

Once a jolly friar got himself an argument
And couldn't get it out of his mind.
He thought that he could prove the existence of the Deity
Because of the way that the words are defined.
CHORUS
Thus spake St. Anselm, thus spake St. Anselm,
Thus spake St. Anselm, who now is long dead,
And we're awed as we read his proof so ontological;
Who can deny a word that he said?
If that than which nothing greater can be conceived
Can be conceived not to exist,
Then 'tis not that than which nothing greater can be conceived:
This is unquestionable, I insist.
For in that case a being greater can be conceived,
Whose major traits we can easily list:
Namely, that than which nothing greater can be conceived
And which cannot be conceived not to exist.
For if that than which nothing greater can be conceived
Has no existence outside of man's mind,
Then 'tis not that than which nothing greater can be conceived,
Due to the way that the words are defined.
For in that case a greater can be conceived
(This is of course analytically true);
Namely, that than which nothing greater can be conceived
And which exists in reality too!
CHORUS
Thus spake St. Anselm, thus spake St. Anselm,
Thus spake St. Anselm with weighty intent,
And we're awed as we read his proof so ontological
Would that we could understand what it meant.
6 comments:
This is really wonderful. Fr Tim, I hope we can sing this at our next post-Christmas gathering. My theological and aesthetic convictions lead me to believe however that it is probably not suitable for singing in church - although perhaps more so than some of the things that are alas routinely sung in churches.
Of Man's first disobedience,
and the fruit Of that forbidden tree
-The first lines of Paradise Lost
Just about goes to the tune of "The Flintsones"
Where's the audio version?
When i was studying for my Degree in Divinity...we studied all the arguments for the existence of God..the philosophy which is a bit beyond me now. i enjoyed it at the time...like the article...
however the 'argument' wasnt so much a philosophical proof as a prayer......
Dominicans live on a diet of beans,
And if you have tried it,you'll know what it means,
They're wonderful men with a gift of the gab,
They're fond of Aquinas and Fr McNabb
This is said to be part of a poem celebrating the rich variety of the Religious Orders. Does anyone know its source and any of the other verses ? I'd love to know.Thanks,(any replies to: rpienne@eircom.net )
Alan Robinson
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