I had an abortion recently, and though my boyfriend and I agreed it was the right thing to do, I feel guilty and I've gone off sex. Will these feelings pass?The answer begins:
Lack of interest in sex after an abortion is so common that it can almost be said to be expected. Before long your libido is likely to have returned, but both you and your partner have to bear in mind that even now having an abortion is a huge event in anyone's life. It is possible, but by no means inevitable, that the changes this will have wrought in the way you feel about a future together may have irretrievably undermined your relationship. If this happens, neither of you should assume blame or feel guilty.Those who work in pro-life counselling for women in crisis pregnancies report that a considerable proportion of those who come to see them are using one or more forms of contraception. A doctor in my parish suggested using a picture such as this to illustrate the principle that new life is not a force that can be easily resisted. Where this life has been crushed by abortion, it is surely only natural and to be expected that the urge to engage in the same life-giving activity should be muted.
Years of experience with patients have reinforced the teaching I received in my early medical life that even the most ardent affair may not survive an abortion...
The second expert, Suzi Godson, concludes her answer with the astonishingly complacent advice:
Be kind to yourself, and your partner, and be grateful that you live in a country where abortion is both safe and legal.Actually, we live in a country where abortion is presented as "safe", where the consequences are glossed over if they are mentioned at all, even the consequence that the relationship you were trying to save is unlikely to survive the killing of your baby.
I'm not sure we should give very much weight to the "loss of libido" danger in itself - it is the secular sanctification of libido that has brought about the destruction of so many millions of human lives. Nevertheless it is another feature in the whole sorry story of routinely available abortion. I wonder how many women are told about this "expected" phenomenon before they consent to an abortion?